Of Book Stores and Bows
by Cannibal Incorporated
Summary: "You like him," my editor stated. And though I had a feeling I would soon be eating my words, I opened my mouth. "Prove it"- And it all started with a fat lady, though it hardly ended with her singing. SasuNaru AU
1. Sequence One: Coffee

**Summery: "You like him," my editor stated. And though I had a feeling I would soon be eating my words, I opened my mouth. "Prove it"- And it all started with a fat lady, though it hardly ended with her singing. SasuNaru AU**

**Warnings: Slight OoC, though I'm trying my best to stick to the characters. =/**

**Mentions of a lemon and bad language**

**Also, I gave Sai and Naruto a very adventurous sense of style**

**Disclaimer: Plot © Me, Naruto(+characters) © Masashi Kishimoto**

**Sequence One: Coffee**

I hummed somewhat softly to myself, totally oblivious to its off-key quality, as I stepped onto the seven o'clock morning tram, swaying lightly to the music singing from my headphones to my eardrums. It surprised me at first, how packed it was- though, it made sense being a weekday- and the only seat I saw open was one between a small girl and a man whose face was hidden behind a large boring looking book.

Checking for any of the female populace or senior citizens before taking the space, I worked my way over and plopped into the place. I was wary not to bump into the anonymous man next to me as he took a sip from his coffee and I removed my iPod plugs. The girl- who I noticed had eyes as blue as mine- looked up at me and smiled, her front teeth riddled with gaps and the first signs of adult teeth coming in.

"Hi," she whispered, smacking on her bubble gum, "You have really pretty hair,"

"Thank you," I said, a grin, "Yours is too,"

"Wanna piece a' gum?"

I laughed a little as she dug around in her dress and held out the pack to me. I was about to decline when I felt a rather rough tap on my shoulder. I looked up and came face to face with a hefty woman wearing a gaudy red dress and too much makeup. I half expected her to reek of cigarettes and booze, but wasn't unlucky enough to be that close to find out.

"Excuse me," she said, as if she didn't already have my attention, "Would you mind giving up your seat for a nice woman? These heels are killing my ankles!"

I chose to ignore that it was early morning and she had probably only been wearing them half an hour and nodded politely.

"No problem. Ma'am," I said, standing and moving to the side.

Maybe it was just a continuum of my bad luck, or maybe I had pissed off that prude Karma for laughing at a Helen Keller joke- the tram jerked and the robust lady sailed into my previous seat, while I sailed into a cup of hot coffee. I gasped as the steamy liquid clung to my sleeve and ribs, cringing when I realized I had crash landed into some poor guy's unsuspecting lap. Ignoring the wetness of my shirt, I stood and regained some balance.

"Are you okay?" I asked, genuinely concerned, turning to the man, "Jesus, these trams are so unpredictable. I'm sorry about the coffee,"

He made a snorting noise, scowling as he picked up his soiled book and empty Styrofoam cup from the floor. It was a shame his face looked so twisted in frustration- I was sure he would be pretty handsome under normal circumstances, "Moron,"

Until he opened his mouth, that is.

I blinked in shock at his blatant lack of common conduct before crossing my arms and snarling.

"Who are you calling moron? It was an accident!" I demanded, loudly, ignoring the attention it got me from my fellow passengers.

"An accident caused by your ineptitude to stand," the pale man replied coolly.

I growled. This guy was saying stuff that was totally uncalled for! I shoved a finger to his chest, gaining his attention again.

"Look bastard-" a few mothers promptly covered their children's ear while shooting me a glare- "I don't know what decided to shove itself up your tight-ass self, but don't you dare question my brain capacity! You don't even know me,"

"Hn. The more you open your mouth the more stupid you sound," he hissed back, the side of his mouth pulled up in mockery.

"Teme!" I yelled, shoving his chest again for good measure.

Ebony eyes narrowed into pits so fascinatingly deep, I was a little taken aback. But the intensity in them only kept me further grounded on the situation. This guy was a total _ass_. An incredibly good looking ass, but that wasn't the point. You'd have to be dirt stupid to want to get with this piece of work.

"Beach,"

I furrowed my brows in confusion and turned to the source of the random input. I found it to be the little girl from before.

"Beach," she repeated a second time, twirling her red curls on her finger, "You are the beach at day time and that scary man is the beach at night time,"

"Suki," a woman I could only assume to be her mother hissed, obviously embarrassed her kid had said something to a total stranger.

I smiled at the innocent logic of a child and patted her head.

"Maybe you're right. But even night and day can mix a little at dawn and dusk,"

She smiled up at me again, showing her gaps, and my heart melted. God, I was such a sap with kids.

The trolley lurched for a second time and I was relieved to see it was my stop. Shooting one more look of distaste at the dark haired youth- which he eagerly returned- I popped my headphones back in and made my way to the front, trying not to think about the stickiness of the coffee on me. Taking a full breath of air when I stepped off, I resolved to shove the morning's events out of my mind. I'll never take the morning tram again.

Before me was my new home: very expensive, very chic apartment complex designed by yours truly's dad- Namikaze Minato. It was the only apartment- the only _place_- that my mother- Kushina- was okay with me living in that wasn't home.

After I my graduation from high school, Dear 'ol Mom wasn't ready for me to leave the nest, so I spent all of college without dorms. Not that I minded much, since Mom's home-cooked meals to die for.

So, _finally_, after college and after my father and I spent hours talking over safety and healthy features of the complex Dad had built so-conveniently close to home and my workplace- Barnes & Noble (co-manager thankyouverymuch)- Mom caved. Under the condition that I called every other afternoon, came home on the weekends, answer all emails within a reasonable time-frame, and only eat ramen twice a week. You'd think I was still in grade school- and sure, I didn't technically have to listen to my parents since I was an independent twenty-three year old. But I also understood that I was the only child in my family- a sacred baby that was to be kept safe at all times (my mom still had no idea I went skydiving with Kiba last fall or that I used to part-time at a zoo, with all of the lions, tigers, and bears-oh-my)

I lived on the fourth floor- right in the middle of seven- room 19. Every floor had five rooms, and the sixth was a nice, large bathroom with shower stalls and multiple urinals and toilets. All of my possessions that I had decided to take with me were already in boxes, waiting for me to unpack them. My dad and I had driven them a whole fifteen minutes from the house.

Packing with Mom had been a nightmare. Did you pack everything, dear? Underwear, toothbrush, deodorant, underwear, stuffed fox, ramen, underwear, clothes, cell phone, soap, underwear (was it just my mom that was obsessed with her son's underwear?) And after the checking and rechecking, she would burst into tears, just when Dad and I thought we were making progress. Really, I love her.

Fishing through my keychain mess, I grabbed my new key with a panda cover, and stuck it in the key hole. There were too many boxes on the other side of the door, and I had to practically barrel a crater into it just to get through. I sighed at the mountain of junk. Home sweet home.

After changing into something _not_ stained with some asshole's coffee, I started with the stuff in the door which was mostly books and clothes. I had quite the collection and I spent a lot of time shelving from least favorite to most favorite on the gargantuan bookshelf Dad helped me install. By lunch, half of my stuff was settled in, and I was dying for a break. I already knew the layout of the building, having helped copy the blueprints myself, but I decided to roam around anyways.

My room was on the end, so I was closest to the little balcony that people could use to smoke or chill on and farthest from the bathroom and stairwell.

I made my way to the lobby, where an eating area was next to a little shop and kitchen. I grabbed a Pepsi and gave the cash to the …boy(?) at the cash register. He(?) smiled and we exchanged change.

"You're the one who just moved in 419, right? I'm in 416" he said, large brown eyes taking me in.

"Yeah," I grinned, extending my hand and taking his, "Namaikaze Naruto,"

His hand was delicate to touch.

"Haku," he introduced himself with a sweet smile and his femininity struck me (okay, so I was pretty damn _pretty_ myself, but still! This guy was girlier than my friend Ino)

"Awesome! I've already made a friend," I replied, flashing a grin and finding it interesting that he supplied me with no last name.

He giggled as I returned to the stairs.

"I hope you enjoy living here,"

I 'hmm'ed as I made a list of what was left to unpack. Toiletries and beauty enhancers (I wasn't afraid of conditioner, so why be afraid of a little nail polish? I was currently wearing blue- it made my eyes pop, if I do say so myself) and a few family photos.

I grabbed my work vest and threw it on a coat hanger next to the door so that I would have it for tomorrow. All of the cardboard boxes were empty and piled in a corner. I would have to eventually take them down to the dumpster that was across the parking lot, but I would invite Gaara and Kiba over for that.

I lifted my arm and sniffed my armpit, mostly out of curiosity of whether or not Old Spice really did last sixteen hours. Either way, it was time to go wash off the day's grime with a three hour shower. I stripped off my jeans and t-shirt and grabbed a towel before abandoning my boxers.

I mentioned before that every floor had a bathroom that the whole level shared. It consisted of three toilet stalls, three shower stalls, a big joint sink, and two urinals. It was coed, but everyone living here was adult enough to not really care, I guessed. I mean, if someone did, I guess they would just go without a shower. I shuddered at the thought while tossing my towel on a hook. The water was hot- the hot that's so hot it felt cold- and I yanked the curtain closed behind me. Thus, the wonderful experience called hygiene.

After a gruesome battle with drippy suds in my eyes, I twisted the faucet off and stepped out into the cooler air of the open bathroom. I looked at my tan skin, made slightly raw from the heat, pleased with its cleanliness.

My stomach growled loudly in the silence and it made me laugh a little. The thought of dinner had my belly making more noise than before. Mom was probably having a brain hemorrhage since I hadn't returned any of her calls (five, I would later see).

I slipped a black turtleneck on and a pair of grey skinnies before leaving my apartment to go get some food. Ino once told me a while back that the dark colors brought out my hair and eyes.

My iPod plugs in place (the music created a wall between me and the world- which meant the less likelihood of me getting hit on my creepy men), I grabbed my shoes, keys, and phone, and stepped out into the hall. I shook the last bit of dampness out of my unruly blonde spikes and whistled to the song playing (Anything You Can Do from _Annie Get Your Gun_) I was lost in my own world, eyes closed, twirling my keys on my pointer finger after locking my door. I turned to the stairs, finally opening my eyes, then stopped.

I wish there was a better way to describe this besides 'dead in my tracks', but that's exactly what I was- or wished to be. Dead. In my tracks. So dead, that my soul that my soul had slipped out of my shoe, did a little jig with itself, then slithered back in my nose before I had the time to register what my brain wanted so desperately to reject. For five seconds- one, two, three, four, five- I stared into equally alarmed black, 'fascinatingly deep' eyes, moving less than that really tall guy that ends up sitting in front of you in a theatre.

I took in his weird, chicken ass hair style, his frown lines around his mouth, his no-doubt studly body underneath those semi-obnoxious clothes, but more importantly, his pants. His _coffee stained pants_. I knew that sour face anywhere. It was the trolley guy.

I snapped out of my stupor before he snapped out of his and pointed a blue-painted finger at him.

"_You!_" I shrieked, hand shaking.

My overly loud cry (I overestimated since I was still wearing the earphones) shook him to life and his now seemingly blacker than black orbs shrunk to two killer bee stingers. I saw the key in his hand, standing in front of room 417 and instantly knew. We _lived_ next to each other. _Next to each other_! What did I ever do to deserve this? Oh, the horror! (Oh, the deliciously coincidental, plot-driving horror!)

If I had been a princess, I would have fainted from the dread and impending doom. But I was not a princess, nor did I ever _faint_ (even I had my limits).

He opened his mouth and said something with a glower, but I didn't hear him because of the loud volume of my music. It was probably a good thing, since the guy had a spear of a tongue on the tram.

_Dear Mother_, I silently wailed, tempted to actually get on my knees, _please tell me it isn't true_.

zZzZzZzZz

Blonde and blue. Blonde, blue, and loud.

My new neighbor was my own personal nightmare- and it seemed he was quickly becoming the type that haunted. He wouldn't get out of my head, and I was seriously debating knocking on his door one night, jumping him, and beating him until my head stopped hurting.

I knew that this blonde devil was one of those obnoxiously loud people who demanded attention that I always ended up hating. I smelled annoying from miles away and this new _thing_ in the recesses of my life reeked of it.

He was supposed to come off as stupid and insufferable. But instead, I found myself obsessing over his raw emotion, his pure outbursts. Where I was intended to see senselessness, I saw determination; where I told myself he was to bright, he was brightly beautiful. And I had only seen him twice.

"Shit, he inspires me," I cursed under my breath, removing my wire glasses and dropping my pen on the crowded table.

Sakura looked up from my manuscript through a sharp emerald gaze.

"Sasuke, get focused before I kill you. Your latest chapters from last night are so scatterbrained I have the mind to ask if you were _drunk_,"

I winced at my editor's words and quickly put my glasses on again. I was not an easily controlled man, but Haruno Sakura's fury was one of the few things any smart man should respectfully fear.

Leaning back in my rolling chair, I allowed myself to sink into the noises of a busy office- typing, scrawling of a million pens, low voices discussing prints, layouts, numbers of copies sold, etcetera, etcetera. It was Publishing Company music, an original piece by Sannin Publisher Co.

My editor and manager, Sakura, 26, pink-haired demon with the cutest face you've ever seen (a real snake in puppy's clothing) was slashing her way through my latest work- the end of a story about a man who sacrificed everything, even his own life, to keep his younger brother from finding out the truth of his family.

"More substance… Flesh it out some…" she muttered, scribbling with her red pen, "Offer a new angle…"

I was trying to stop thinking about blues, blondes, and louds, and start typing. But, god, that young man was enthralling. I could see his passions pouring out of his very being like the messiest, but most breathtaking manuscript, and I felt like I had been the one to discover him. On the trolley, I could have opened my mouth and felt his boiling anger burn and blister my tongue and throat as I drank it in.

He was a masterpiece of a human being and I longed to write about him- to imprison his essence in my pages. But how he _infuriated_ me. Yet, if I could stand to be around him long enough to ensnare his core into my literature, I felt like it would be worth it. I need him.

"Huh?" Sakura asked, "You need who?"

The question brought my mind to the present, and I waved her off. Getting to know the blond was out of the question. He vexed the living daylights out of me, _he insulted_ me, and he spilt my coffee. All in the expanse of less than ten minutes. Plus, he probably lived like a pig and couldn't even spell his own name (whatever it may be, since he had failed to acquire such information).

"Idiot blonde," I muttered darkly to myself, glaring at nothing in particular.

"Your face will get stuck like that if you don't relax," Jiraiya commented as he walked by my wide desk to get to his, "And you should remember that blondes are the best bed warmers,"

I rolled my eyes, but continued to scowl despite the perverted old man's advice. As if I, the Avenger (my famous pen-name), needed someone to warm my bed. I scoffed. But I still couldn't deny that I wanted to seek that man out.

"Sasuke…" a low warning growl shattered my thoughts and I sighed, a bit dramatically.

"Yes, yes, I know,"

"Oh, yeah," Sakura chirped-suddenly changing from acidic to bubbly, "I got an email from Tsunade this morning. She says that they agreed to a book signing for all of our top editors in the company on Thursday. It'll last until Saturday. So, prepare yourself for the hordes of estrogen you're about to be faced with,"

Fan-fucking-tastic.

The rest of my work day consisted of typing, retyping what Sakura had scribbled over, and ignoring the occasional ogle from one of my fellows.

Tsunade was the company's founder. She was a big-breasted woman with an even bigger ego and even _bigger_ temper. She was somewhere in her sixties now, but somehow miraculously remain to appear to be in her thirties. (She wasn't the only one though. Her co-founder, a registered sex-offender, Orochimaru, still looked to be in his thirties as well. The only one of the three that looked older was Jiraiya, but he still only looked to be in his forties. It was a mystery.) Tsunade was known to be the most fearsome woman in the whole country, and I was proud that I didn't even flinch when she threw a filing cabinet through a wall during my interview. Thus, the Power-Puff Girls were- ah, wrong series. Thus, I was hired, and The Avenger was born. Now, I found it obvious that Sakura had been the woman's personal apprentice (next to Shizune, of course) for nearly five years before she was assigned to me.

My elder brother Itachi was actually the one who gave birth to the name. When I was in high school, Father spent all of his free time doting and teaching us that one day, we would follow his footsteps and become successful business tycoons. Unfortunately for Father, at the time Itachi was half-way through college with an Art degree, spent all of _his_ time boozing it up with his weird group of friends that called themselves Akatsuki, and planned to work at a University as a Psychology professor (which, he had now been doing for several years). And I was right behind him- freedom was my middle name and creative writing was my game. I plainly told my father where he could shove his company and only through my mother did we avoid blood shed.

Even though it had only taken a month for Father to come around (lighting his office on fire and egging the company car might have had something to do with it- but _results_ are what's important) Itachi was still proud that I had stuck to my choice and said I had 'avenged' him. And then the pen-name came. I still remember the first time my father had seen my first published book. He had called the name 'dramatic and over-bloated' but the copy still lay on his shelf next to one of Itachi's paintings.

My mother, typically Uchiha looking, but untypically soft and sweet once told me "All Uchihas are saps- especially the men and _especially_ your father," I believed her when I caught Father tearing up on my graduation day. And I definitely believed her when I felt touched by it.

"Saps- but stubborn to admit it," Mother had added quickly with a wink.

"Are you listening to me, Uchiha Sasuke?" Sakura asked.

When I remained impassive, she hissed through her teeth. I wondered if she was counting to ten.

"Barnes& Nobel will open early for us on Thursday, so you need to be there by six. Closing will be at ten each day,"

I nodded silently and glanced at the clock.

"Are you ready to go for coffee?" I asked, already pulling on my coat.

The pink-haired girl nodded, and together, we gathered our laptops, notes, and papers. Every other evening, Sakura and I would go to the café across from my apartment complex then head to my room to continue working. It was more comfortable than the office.

Not thirty minutes later, we were already in my dimly-lit room, not a sound but typing and writing. The story of my life.

_Ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom._

My typing flow came to a halt.

_Ba-boom, ba-boom._

"Sakura…"

She looked up and still: _Ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom_.

"It's just bass. It's been going for quite a while. Relax,"

But the damage was done, and now I couldn't focus on anything else. Eventually, I pinpointed the noise to be coming from the room next to mine. Of course the blonde would be bothering me and not even know it.

"Sit _down_, Uchiha! We have deadlines to make!" Sakura screeched as I swung my door open. I was in front of my neighbor's in three strides. I could feel the vibrations of the music in my feet as I knocked. And knocked again. And again.

The idiot probably couldn't even hear me. I lost patience and twisted the door knob which was actually unlocked. The door opened, releasing a tidal wave of heavy, sensual techno that I didn't recognize.

There was a pile of cardboard boxes in a pile and a mammoth book case, completely filled. But what really had my attention was the dancing, shirtless tan-wonder that looked to be having the time of his life.(I vaguely took note that his dark skin must be natural because I saw no tan lines and also got a peek of a tattoo before it disappeared under his low-rise jeans). Blue fingernails had vanished overnight and were now a wine red. His sweaty blonde hair that suggested he had been at this for a while was pinned back by a collection of flower barrettes. The light wasn't on, but there was a small lamp plugged in next to his small bed. Casually, I flipped the switch to 'ON'.

His swinging hips froze and he spun around, saw me, and screamed. I mean, really screamed- I didn't even think he had taken in enough breath to bellow like that; it easily blared out the music. So manly. I waited for him to stop.

"What the _hell_ are you doing in here?" he screeched, sounding a bit like Sakura had a moment ago, (Oh, yeah. _So_ manly) "Can't you effing _knock_?"

During his frantic questioning, he had managed to turn off the music and throw on an oversized shirt that had "Sup, /b?" written across it.

"I did knock,"

"Is that all you have to say? You almost scared the piss out of me! I should have you locked up for sexual harassment like that Orochimaru guy!"

Sexual harassment? Sasuke thought, raising an eyebrow in mild amusement. I tried not to focus to hard on the soft looking hands that were pressing urgently against my chest.

"I'm minding my own business when I look up to see _your_ ass hovering over me! I don't dance for audiences, teme!"

One person is company, not an audience, I felt tempted to say.

"Your flailing hardly entices me, dobe. It's your fault anyways. I'm trying to work,"

"Look, I'll listen to my music as loudly as I like!"

I closed my eyes and counted to five. Killing is a crime; killing is a crime.

"I'll say it again. I'm trying to _work_, dobe,"

"Teme!"

I growled as he shoved me further out the door.

"Just turn the damn music down!" I snapped angrily before pivoting out, practically cutting Sakura in half who was waiting out in the hall. She quietly followed me to my apartment and closed the door softly.

"Who was that?"

I breathed heavily through my nose, an aftermath of my frustration.

"My new neighbor. _Charming_, isn't he?"

"Do you know his name? He seemed awfully interesting,"

"Awfully annoying," I snorted.

"You seem interested, anyways," Sakura countered, sounding almost perverse.

"As if I would ever be interested in a Neanderthal like that," I snapped, throwing myself in my desk chair.

"You are such a bad liar, Sasuke," Sakura laughed.

I felt like pouting then remembered Uchihas do not pout.

"Prove it,"

I was acting like a kid, and I knew I was going to pay for it. When Sakura's smile turned into a full-blown lecherous grin, looking positively wicked, I had a feeling I was about to eat my words.

"Is that tent in your pants my imagination?"

**Sequence Once: End**

**TBC**


	2. Sequence Two: Tampons

**Summery: "You like him," my editor stated. And though I had a feeling I would soon be eating my words, I opened my mouth. "Prove it"- And it all started with a fat lady, though it hardly ended with her singing. SasuNaru AU**

**Warnings: Slight OoC, though I'm trying my best to stick to the characters. =/**

**Mentions of a lemon and bad language**

**Also, I gave Sai and Naruto a very adventurous sense of style**

**Disclaimer: Plot © Me, Naruto(+characters) © Masashi Kishimoto**

**Edit*: Slight SaiNaru because I love Sai too damn much. Also, Naruto is an **_**idiot**_** in this one.**

**Sequence Two: Tampons**

Of all of the insufferable things I could have woken up to, it just _had_ to have my cell. With a groan, I threw my hand onto my bedside table, knocking the ringing contraption onto the floor. I considered leaving it there, but figured that anyone who called this early must have something important to talk about. They had _better _have something important.

I inched closer to the edge of my bed, not wanting to actually have to leave it yet, and grabbed onto the phone. I caught it on the last ring, flipping it open and holding it to my ear.

"'Lo?" I croaked, trying to block the electronic light from my eyes.

"Naruto? I need a favor,"

Oh, _god_.

"Ino…" I whined, rubbing the sleep crusties out of my eyes.

"My car broke down last week,"

"You told me,"

"So I had to be dropped off by Chouji and I'm at work now,"

"At seven in the morning? Jesus Christ,"

"Just because you're late everyday, doesn't mean the rest of the world is," she said through the phone teasingly, "Anyways, my period came as a surprise this morning, and I don't have enough cash to buy a box of tampons _and _pay my tramcar ride home this evening,"

I could see where this was going.

"Naruto…"

_Here_ we go.

"Could you please, pretty-please with a bowl of ramen on top buy we a box on your way in?"

I groaned, but knew how cruel it would be for me to leave her sitting in an uncomfortably drafty toilet for the whole day, bleeding out the vag. I imagine it would grow a little chilly.

"You are _so_ lucky I love you," I grit out, already slithering out of bed and making my way over to my dresser, stumbling around in the dark.

"You are a _life_ saver!" she gushed.

"Yeah, yeah. See you soon," I clicked the phone to a close and sighed.

"Rise and shine beautiful. The Earth says wake the fuck up," I sang to myself grumpily. Namikazes were not known to be morning people. While brushing my teeth, I settled for some tightly fitting purple jeans with a bright yellow form-fitting graphic shirt. After slipping my classic chucks on, I stuck a lime green headband in my hair and grabbed my work vest and other essentials.

It would take ten minutes to walk to a Dollar General and ten minutes to get to work by tram. Hopefully, Ino could wait that long.

I half-jogged down the hall to the stairs, passing Haku's room on the way.

"Damn it, Zabuza, it's too early for this!" I heard the boy's melodious voice pierce through the walls. I was in too much of a hurry to wait and figure out who this Zabuza was and what exactly it was too early for. I did figure it would something I could tease him with later, though.

The streets of Konohagakure were decently empty and I managed to make it to the store in six minutes of brisk walking. It was a small store filled with everyday essentials plus more- mostly children's toys. The women's part of the store was to the right- the very back isle. This wasn't the first time Ino (or anyone else) had called in for an emergency.

As quickly as I could, I walked to my destination and grabbed a pack of regular sized tampons, not paying much attention to the brand. What the hell was gentle-slide or safe guard, anyways?

Walking down the back isle and going up the back of the store to the cashier, making a circle, I closed my eyes and exhaled loudly through my nose.

"On your period, dobe?"

Alarms- loud, blaring, warning- rang in my ears as I dared to peek open my eyes. Of _course_. Because it just wouldn't be fair for the universe to cut me some slack, now would it?

"Actually, I was buying them for you. You seemed so PMS-ey last night, I thought these might help you out," I snapped viciously at the dark haired male.

His eyes contracted into to missiles, aimed to blow my head to pieces. I took the time to venture on what he was buying and lost interest when I saw a bottle of water.

"You are obviously more…" he did a general gesture to all of me, "than I am,"

That whole comment actually had me trying to guess what he was getting. I stored it in my mind to ask Gaara later.

"What the hell is your problem? Are you stalking me or something?" (I didn't mean to sound like a sleaze, but it had happened before)

I was practically yelling as I tried to pass the arrogant bastard, and the cashier gave him a subtle look that told him to shut up.

"Stalking _you_? I was here before you. If anyone should be the stalker, it's you,"

"Whatever, asshole! Just get out of my way!" my voice raised in volume, and this time, the cashier wasn't so discrete in glaring at me.

"Hn. Not until you get out of my way,"

'Hn'? What was that? Was that even a word? I anxiously glanced at my cell and saw that the trolley would be leaving in a minute. I cursed under my breath, and shoved past the ass in time to see the cart travel on its track right by. I let out a stream of colorful language and cut my body back into the direction of my current pain in the life.

"Teme!"

His attention turned to me.

"You made me miss the tram. Take responsibility! You owe me a ride to work,"

He raised an eyebrow.

"You want to come to work with me?"

"No- you idiot,"- and he called _me_ the moron!- "You're taking me to _my_ work,"

He scoffed.

"If you think-"

"I don't care! Your fault or not, it's your pale ass that's getting me to work today, so suck it,"

He raised his eyebrows again and I dully noted that they must receive a lot of action in a day. Oddly, I pondered on whether or not they moved in his sleep.

"Is that so?"

I just nodded and thrust some cash into the register man's hand to pay for Ino's package. He gave me a bag, a receipt, and change, and I waited for my neighbor to purchase his water.

He didn't exactly so no, so I followed him out and was not surprised in the least to fin him unlocking a black sports car of some sort. (I don't have much finesse with cars. Very sleek. Very expensive.)

"Nice junk," I said flippantly, opening the car door a bit too roughly to see if it would annoy the other man. I slammed the door behind me for the same reason. His onyx eyes drilled sores into my face and a gave a huge grin, knowing he knew I was doing it on purpose.

"This is not junk," he nit-picked, sticking the keys gently into the ignition like it was some fragile toddler, and not a pile of metal that ate oil.

"Can't you take a compliment? I _said_- whatever it is- it's _nice_. Ass," I huffed, acting like a brat.

"It's an Audi Locus ,idiot,"

"God, would you stop calling me an idiot? I have a name! It's Naruto! Na-ru-to!"

I could feel my face burning in anger, and I puffed my cheeks out in anger.

"Childish," the dark haired man muttered before adding, "Uchiha Sasuke,"

I blinked.

"Uchiha? I had a professor a Suna College. Itachi is his name. You two do look a lot alike now that I think about it," I murmured, remembering him as my professor in one of the many Psychology classes I had taken. Hardest class, but definitely the best.

"You know my brother?"

"Yeah.. I really enjoyed his class. We email sometimes,"

"I'm surprised you passed,"

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm not stupid?" I cried, enjoying the little cringe I got out of Sasuke.

Uchiha Sasuke… I liked it. Not the guy himself, but it was a nice name…

"Where do you work? I do have to take you there, rmember?"

"Barnes & Nobel,"

"I'm so impressed,"

"Shut up! Med school doesn't start until the fall, so I'm doing an old job for fun. Do you know what fun is?"

"I'd kill you if you were the jail time,"

"Yeah? I'd _haunt_ you if I didn't have better things to do with my afterlife,"

He rolled his eyes, a scowl firmly in place as he took a sharp turn.

"I'm late to work because of you," he snapped.

"You're welcome. You probably work in an office. You're a writer right?" I asked, feeling triumphant when his coal black eyes flickered over to mine for a split second.

"Ink stains on your hands," I answered the silent question.

There was a beat of silence when my mind stumbled on something puzzling.

"If you had a car, what were you doing on the trolley Monday morning?"

"It was in the shop. A truck in front of me kicked up a rock and it cracked my windshield,"

"Ouch,"

At least we wouldn't have anymore run-ins on the trams- unless he pissed me off and I decided to key his car.

"So, what are the tampons really for?"

I laughed honestly, wondering if it was loud enough to get on Sasuke's nerves.

"My friend Ino- from work- got a surprise visit from Mother Nature this morning and didn't have any extra cash to get her… stuff,"

"How kind of you,"

I rolled my eyes and propped my feet up on the dashboard counting the seconds it took him to say something.

"Nah, she's just a real monster during her time of the month,"

"Feet. Down. Now,"

I laughed and put them down as told. A whole four seconds. I was impressed.

"Kind of like you, Sasuke-Dear," I teased.

"Didn't we already establish that you're the woman?"

I snorted, wondering if the Uchiha even realized what that statement implied.

"Sorry," I sighed dramatically, "I don't take it from guys who are much bitchier than me,"

He choked and I laughed.

"Where do you want me to drop you off?" Sasuke asked once he got himself under control.

"Here is fine," I said, opening the door before it even stopped in the parking lot. I grabbed my vest and bag, leaving the car quite gracefully.

"Thanks for the ride, Sasuke-Teme," I winked, "We're even,"

"Dobe, we ne-" I slammed the door on his reply and rushed into the boor store, only turning around to see the Uchiha peeling his Oudy Lucy or whatever out into the street.

Knowing Ino was in the women's restroom, I went there as quickly as I could, waving a good morning to the friends I passed. No one really thought much of me going into the girl's bathroom. Everyone probably knew about Ino's predicament much to her embarrassment, and I did it all the time before the store opened when Ino or Hinata (or Sai or Gaara) needed to talk. Barnes & Noble opened at eight and it was only seven-forty.

"Naruto! I've been on this toilet for half an hour!" my blonde friend yelled from her stall. I chucked the package under the door and heard a yelp of 'Ouch!'.

"I had complications,"

"Thanks Naruto," Ino said, coming out of the stall and washing her hands. I smiled.

"Don't worry. It was no problem. I only ran into my bastard of a neighbor while purchasing tampons- I'm sure you can imagine that little exchange- missed the tram because my humiliation wouldn't end fast enough, and had to catch a ride with afore-mentioned bastardly neighbor,"

"Yikes,"

"Understatement,"

We left the bathroom and joined the others in preparing for open time. Sarutobi, the owner of the place, was no where to be found, most likely getting ready to read to the little children that came everyday as part of a summer program. Iruka was already behind the Strabucks café counter, fixing up the display shelves for the day and warming up the coffee makers. Gaara was in the front where the CDs and movies were where I would eventually join him, angrily putting misplaced disks in the correct rows that customers had set down. Hinata was booting up the computers and stacking boxes filled with books that needed to be shelved- which Konohamaru, a kid fresh out of high school and Sarutobi's grandson, was already opening and taking care of. He came to work over the summers, much like I had done when I was his age.

"Good morning!" I announced cheerfully to the general public. I only got grumbles of a reply- something I expected and skillfully looked over.

Ino gravitated towards Hinata, while Konohamaru watched from afar, a whimsical look in his eyes.

"If Kiba finds out you're crushing on Hinata, you're a dead man," I laughed, "He's been pining for her affection for months,"

I left the younger boy with his dejection to pester Gaara. He grunted when I finally reached my station and hugged him.

"Good morning, Sunshine," I cooed, pinching his cheek. He glared half-heartedly and swatted my hand away from his face.

"Morning,"

Gaara had a wonderful voice. Even though he was a year younger than me (23), his voice felt like the velvety sensation of chocolate as it melts down on your tongue. It was deep and rich and left me goose bumps that made me giggle. At first, when we met, Gaara and I had tried flirting a little- before we realized we were more like brothers and after that, I stopped kissing him all the time. He was now steadily single and didn't seem to be looking for anyone.

Everyday, without fail, the very first person to walk through the unlocked doors, right as they opened was our prize regular Hatake Kakashi. He was a strange man; he always wore an eye patch and he always ordered the same drink. We had no idea who he was, and the only one he seemed interested in letting know was Iruka, and I just pretended not to see when Kakashi winked at Iruka. (There was obviously something going on- I had picked up a phone call for Iruka once, only to hang up after getting some nice dirty talk from Kakashi). He was good looking for a kind of older guy with a set of loose morals and a quirky personality. We would always see him reading a little orange book written by Sannin Jiraiya whenever Iruka wasn't around. That little orange book? Porn. Seriously, the only way that shit got published was because Tsunade had a weird soft spot for him.

Jiraiya and his not-really-girlfriend-but-still-loving (-questionable) Tsunade were old friends of my family and had taken a huge role in raising me when I was a teenager. Jiraiya had been the one to teach me things about women and men and sex and dirty jokes and the appreciation of beauty (which usually ended up with a beating from Tsunade) Their not-quite-friend-but-still-important Orochimaru was usually hovering in the background, smiling and seeming pleased just to watch. He was recently released from prison for being caught doing some shameful and mostly forceful things with a little boy and was now under Tsunade arrest (he couldn't go anywhere where she wasn't). I kind of felt bad for the old granny.

So, when Iruka went to unlock the doors, there Kakashi was, cash already out to buy the newest edition of Jiraiya's series and a cup of coffee.

My day went by as it normally did. There weren't usually a lot of people during the lunch hours, since everybody had to work. But there were two other regulars that came in at this time. His name was Nara Shikamaru. And even though we closed for lunch, he always managed to get in somehow, right before. I always thought of him to be lazy in a calculating sort of way. I don't think he sleeps so much as he thinks with his eyes closed. I also noticed Ino worrying about her hair when it comes to lunch time, though it could be my imagination. The other was my long time best friend (since middle school) Inuzuka Kiba. He and Hinata had been interested in each other for a long time but had never really done much about it.

"I'm glad you survived your morning dilemma, Ino," Konohamaru snickered as we all took our seats at the tables in the café area. I felt the air to my left (Ino's seat) get a little dark and chilly and I struggled to change the subject.

"It's okay, Ino," Hinata said in her soft voice, "It's happened to all of us girls at some point,"

"So, it's happened to _you_?" Kiba asked with a grin, putting his arm around the girl. She went fire engine red and hit his shoulder lightly with a playful scowl. I pouted. A lot of people here had someone. I huffed.

"My neighbor is an asshole," I blurted, finally finding a topic that would not cause blood shed among my friends. My associates could become quite scary sometimes.

"Like- the biggest asshole you've ever met- _Neji_ asshole," Kiba cringed and Ino inhaled loudly through her teeth, "No offence Hinata,"

She shrugged.

"I know it better than anyone that he can be a total jerk sometimes. But he really isn't that bad,"

"What about that time he locked Kiba in his own trunk for hitting on you?" Ino asked, "Or that one time he made four girls cry in one day?"

We spent the rest of lunch talking about horror stories involving Neji and weird people from high school (i.e. Shino, Sasori, that history teacher Kisame) before reluctantly returning to work.

Gaara and I spent the rest of our time playing online games on the store's computer, though we weren't really supposed to. It wasn;t until we were about to close that he really said anything.

"We have to be here at six am until ten pm Thursday through Saturday this week,"

I groaned. Wait a minute-

"Tomorrow's Thursday!"

"Hmm," Gaara stated, "So it is,"

"_Why_ do we have to be here that early?" I groaned. Gaara stared at me for a long moment before bringing his shoulders up slowly and letting them drop in what I realized was a shrug.

"Can't remember,"

"That only gives me," I counted on my fingers, "seven hours of sleep!"

Gaara nodded.

" I'm going to die!" I cried, dragging out the word die like my life was hanging on it.

"You're such a drama queen, Dickless,"

I spun around, my stormy clouds of misery dispersing at the sight of my smiling pale friend.

"Sai!" I exclaimed, grinning and pulling him into a hug.

Instead of releasing me, he hung onto me from behind, his arms around my torso and his chin resting on my shoulder, like some kind of koala.

Anbu Sai and I had the strangest relationship ever. We were total opposites in personality- he was an emotionally retarded jerk and I was awesome and emotionally abundant. Despite that, we never ran out of things to talk about. Ino liked to call us a pair of gossiping girls because we used to stay up all night talking on the phone about anyone and anything. Emotion, criminology, fashion, cooking, sex, sports (though I didn't know jack about most of it), and music.

He was also the only guy I knew that dressed as eccentrically as I did (for instance, he was currently wearing a pair of tight leather jeans, a belly shirt with a turtleneck collar, pink bunny slippers, and bright blue lipstick) We usually ended up trading eye shadow and fingernail polish.

Am I still coming over to your new apartment for dinner?" Sai purred in my ear while talked to a last customer. Another thing about Sai- he always had to touch me. I found it a little odd since he wasn't like that with anyone else , but I liked Sai and his quirks, even if there was no real reasoning behind it.

"Yeah! Have you already picked up the food?"

He nibbled on my ear which made me laugh and take as an affirmative.

At seven pm, we left 'ol B&N in Sai's pale yellow bug, Bar-B-Q and potato chips waiting in the back seat.

When we got to my apartment after singing Disney songs the whole way, we clambered into the lobby, my arms full if Styrofoam to-go boxes.

"Awe, dammit. Sai, will you reach into my back pocket and grab my keys?" I asked as we walked across the lobby.

"Certainly,"

I felt both of his hands slide into my pockets and rest there.

"I new you had a nice ass, Dickless, but I must say, I'm getting a much better feel, now," he said, snickering, "Quite snug too. I didn't realize just how tight there really were,"

"You should know, idiot" I said laughing, "from the amount of times you've put them on. Anyways, _all_ my pants are this tight,"

Instead of replying with something perverted like I expected, Sai's hands traveled to my hips and pulled my back against his chest.

"Uchiha,"

I furrowed my brows at the hostility in Sai's voice and found the source of it standing in the lobby's entrance, a cup of coffee in his hand and the pink haired lady he's always with.

"Sai," the woman said with a small smile, "Tsunade is mad that you left work early again,"

So he did skip work to see me. How sweet! I smiled at the news, glad to have such a dedicated friend like Sai.

"I told her I had plans," he hummed, nuzzling the side of my cheek with his.

"We can see that," Sasuke bit out, knuckles turning white as he gripped the flimsy coffee cup. If he held it any tighter, it would fold in half.

"Well," Sai cooed as he led me by the waist to the stairs, "I've got a date with Naru, and you've got a date with your manuscript,"

Naru? I tilted my head in thought. How did Sasuke and Sai know each other? And why did they seem to not like each other? Sai continued to cling to me with more vigor than usual and when we got to my room, my hunger totally distracted me from any further thoughts on what had just happened.

"Finally! I'm straved,"

I heard my dark haired companion mutter something about 'fatty', and I elbowed him as we collapsed onto my bed with the food.

While we ate, I mentioned Barnes & Nobel opening early again, and he finally explained what Gaara couldn't.

"That's because there is a book signing for all of the top authors in Sannin Publisher Co. They're opening up, so fans can start coming in as soon as possible. Tomorrow won't be so bad, but Friday and Saturday are going to be packed,"

I thought about it for a few seconds before smiling.

"You're a top Author, right? I bought your book of poetry the day it came out. It was so good!"

Sai kissed me all over my cheeks and neck and arms a lot that night after I said that. I guess he liked compliments.

The lasy few hours he was here, we had enough dialogue for me to write a book myself. Not that that mattered much since I had the writing capabilities no better that a fourth grader. Maybe fifth grade…

"See you round, Dickless,"

I waved to Sai as he left and shut the door when the top of his head disappeared down the stairs. I looked at myself and started laughing. There were blue kiss marks all over me from Sai's ridiculous lipstick. I had to practically tie him down just to go on a pee break (Awkward when I have the lack of luck to run into Sasuke again with blue hickies all over my face.)

Gathering up my dirty laundry in a basket after a shower (I was now blue-free, save for my eyes) I whistled my way down to the basement where the laundry room lay tucked.

"Shut up and put your money where your mouth is…" I sang to myself quietly, "That's what you get for waking up in Vegas,"

"Your singing is atrocious,"

My eyes cut to Sasuke who was busy stuffing whites into a dryer. I scowled and kicked the door of the dryer hard enough to slam his fingers. Not make them bleed, but a good pinch.

"You probably can't sing at _all_," I shot back as he nursed his fingers with an identical look of anger. I dumped my dirty laundry in a washer and threw some detergent carelessly in there after.

We happened to start up the stares at the same time and _happened_ to walk the same leisurely pace.

"You know Anbu," Sasuke- well, I think it was supposed to be a question, but it really came out like an accusation.

"We met a year ago at an art exhibit that I was invited to by your brother," I said, nodding, "How do you know him?"

I pretended not to notice we were in fact walking together.

"Work," he said after a long stretch of silence that I had almost forgotten about the subject completely. And then he said nothing else, killing conversation. I decided to ignore that too, since it was probably the first time we had ended a conversation without yelling at each other.

I hadn't realized that I had paused at his door when we got there until he was looking down at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Nigh, Dobe,"

The door slammed practically taking my nose off and I jerked back, holding it as if it were about to be stolen from me. I growled.

"Teme!"

**Sequence Two: End**

**I'm SOOOO sorry that was so long! *wails***

**TBC**


	3. Sequence Three: Click Click

**Summery: "You like him," my editor stated. And though I had a feeling I would soon be eating my words, I opened my mouth. "Prove it"- And it all started with a fat lady, though it hardly ended with her singing. SasuNaru AU**

**Warnings: Slight OoC, though I'm trying my best to stick to the characters. =/**

**Mentions of a lemon and bad language**

**Also, I gave Sai and Naruto a very adventurous sense of style**

**Disclaimer: Plot © Me, Naruto(+characters) © Masashi Kishimoto**

**Edit*: Slight SaiNaru because I love Sai too damn much. Also, Naruto is an **_**idiot**_** in this one.**

**Edit*: Less SaiNaru, still hints though. Less idiotic Naruto**

**Sequence Three: Click Click**

It was still not quite day when I pulled out of the parking lot in my Audi on my way to Barnes & Noble. Where I would be bombarded with fans for thirteen hours, only to have it happen the next day… and the next day.

Not even looking at the caller-ID when my cell buzzed softly, I answered on my Bluetooth- it could only be Sakura.

"Hello?" he asked politely.

"Don't you 'hello' me! Where the hell _are_ you, Uchiha? I told you to be here by six! We're already setting up!"

I winced and pulled the Bluetooth device from my ear and listened to her raving for another minute before the gods witnessed my suffering and offered rescue. There was a beeping, indicating a waiting call.

"When I get a hold of that scrawny neck of yours-"

"I'm so sorry Sakura but I have another call. I'll see you soon,"

"You wait just minu-"

I hung up on her and answered the other call.

"Yes?"

"Ah, little brother. Today is your big day, no?"

"It's only a book signing, but yes, it is today. I'm on my way now," I answered, happy to hear from Itachi. His deep voice lifted my anxiety a little.

"Father sends his regrets for being too busy to say anything,"

"Of _course_ he does," I drawled sarcastically, pushing on the gas a little more.

"Now, now Sasuke. Be kind. I'm only calling to say good luck. I have class in an hour,"

Naruto's face flashed in my memory.

"Hey, wait, Itachi. Do you remember a student you have last fall?"

"I had many students last fall. I'm afraid you have to be a tad more specific,"

"This one is particularly… unique. Naruto…"

I finally realized Naruto had never given me his last name.

There was a beat of silence.

"Give me a hint," he teased.

"Blonde hair, blue eyes, scars on his cheeks, really loud and-"

"Obnoxious? You wouldn't happen to be talking about my top student Namikaze Naruto, would you? Did you two meet by chance? He was wonderful in class. Often lead debates. We email from time to time,"

"Yes, that's what he said too,"

Was he talking about my Naruto? Well, not _mine_, obviously- but the Naruto I was currently associating myself with. Not _my_ Naruto, because it wasn't like I _owned_ him or anything. Just the Naruto I _knew_. Understand?

Namikaze… The famous local architect? I wondered my Naruto had failed to tell me. Then again, I never did directly ask…

"We're apartment neighbors,"

"That's interesting. Do tell him I said hello,"

I pulled up into the Barnes & Noble parking lot.

"Sure. I have to go Itachi," I said. We shared our brief farewells and hung up. I looked at the building and realized something with a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach. The Dobe worked here.

Stepping out of my car with born grace, I strode across the black asphalt to the front doors and glided through the glass doors- a little jingle of bells signifying my entry-, the smell of books and coffee permeating the air.

No one had really noticed that I had arrived, hence they were probably used to the bell going off my now. I saw employees of both B&N and SPC huddled in tables in the Starbucks area of the book store.

Sakura was chatting happily with a girl with pale eyes and dark hair, he immediately understood to be Neji's cousin. There was a tan, scruffy looking young man attached to the girl, his arm over her shoulders. The scruffy man seemed to be having a separate and animated conversation with my blonde neighbor (What? He _is_ _my_ neighbor.) One the blonde's side was a leeching Sai (were they even together?) and across the table, while Naruto talked, he also played thumb wars with a red head who was wearing thick eyeliner.

I stared at him (Naruto, not the red head) and took in his attire from what I could see. His sunny hair was pooled back by a flowery headband and a golden hoop earring hung from one of his ears. Under his eye and above those ever present whisker scars (that I had been intending to ask about for a while) was a heart tattoo, the shade of his eyes. Underneath his work vest was an oversized purple sweater that hung off of both of his sun-kissed shoulders. His laughter brought my eyes back to his face and I noted the black choker and lip ring in the corner of his mouth. When had he gotten that?

"Sasuke!"

I was reluctantly brought back to Earth in time to see a storming Sakura headed my way. Chances of wind damage, tornado warnings everywhere, flash floods…

"You're _late_!" While there is an exclamation mark at the end of that sentence, Sakura's voice was low and the mark only came from the sheer force of her anger.

"Only fashionably so," I replied with a smirk. She growled.

"You're lucky I need you for the next three days, or so help me god-"

"_Y-You!_" a horrified cry filled the book store, causing everyone to hush down.

I looked for the source of the noise and found Naruto standing (giving him a nice view of his waxed legs from those indecently short plaid shorts), a red fingernail pointing at me, a sight so similar to the second time they had seen each other. Déjà vu, huh?

"It's good to see that your impersonation of a fish is still by far, the best I've ever seen, Dobe," I said, sneer widening, hoping to get a rise out of him.

"Teme! What are you doing here?" the blonde demanded, sounding suspicious.

"Naruto, you're making a dumb ass of yourself. Sit down," the red head stated in a -surprisingly- pleasingly deep voice, "It's Uchiha Sasuke, A.K.A. The Avenger. A successful writer and employee of SPC,"

I watched the blonde clench his jaw, then he pouted and sat down, this time Sai not clinging so close.

"So? Like I care. Famous or not, he's just a bastard,"

I had to bite my cheeks to keep from laughing. There was just something too cute about this guy. I walked over, pulled up a chair and sat right across from Naruto, so that he would be able to see me unless he turned his chair around in the opposite direction. He seemed to notice this and stuck his tongue out at me. I was alarmed that I was only a little shocked that I wanted to take that tongue… If that made sense…

"Hyuuga Hinata," the pale-eyed girl introduced herself in a soft voice, gripping his hand firmly, "You work with my cousin Neji,"

I nodded. The resemblance was too striking for anyone not to know anyways. My first guess would have been brother and sister.

"Kiba," the rough man said. His voice was kind of gravely, but not in an 'I'm a chain smoker' kind of way. The way talked briefly reminded me of Naruto, "I don't work here, but everyone loves my face so much I just can't stay away,"

Naruto snorted and Hinata reached over to smack him.

"We already met, bastard," Naruto all but whined.

"I know, moron,"

The blonde was about to reply, but the red head shoved his hand in Naruto's face to stop him.

"Sabaku Gaara,"

I nodded once just as the bell jingled. Naruto's attention followed it and he smiled. I turned around and saw a blonde woman scurrying in.

"Hey guys!" she greeted, untangling herself from a green scarf, "My mom called and I just couldn't get away!"

"Pig?" Sakura asked uncertainly.

The blonde woman narrowed her eyes as if insulted until she saw Sakura.

"Forehead?" the blonde woman finally replied.

"Oh my god! I haven't seen you since high school graduation!" Sakura gushed and the two were soon hugging, "Sasuke, this Yamanaka Ino. My old best friend,"

Ah. I shook her hand. Tampon girl.

Everyone's chatter died down as Tsunade and Sarutobi walked out of the old man's office. All of the authors' booths had been set up, a pack of pens and a stack of books on each.

"All right, everyone listen up! Time to set up! We're opening in ten. You see those people out there?"

I looked with the others and to my astonishment, there actually were people crowding at the doors.

"Each author will have a runner to get him water or what ever the hell he needs. Authors, get to know them while you're bossing them around,"

Sarutobi pulled out a sheet of paper which I assumed had everyone's names on it.

"Gaara, you will be Sai's wingman; Ino, you'll be Neji's when he _gets_ here (I thought Tsunade was about to blow a fuse, at that point); Naruto, you're Sasuke's runner-"

"_What?_"

"No complaining, brat! Or I'll tell your mom about the skydiving trip you went on with Kiba,"

"You're so mean to me, Granny," Naruto pouted. I raised an eyebrow. It seemed like the two were familiar with each other. I realized with a bit of bitterness that I didn't know much about Naruto. But he was my runner and Tsunade _had_ said 'get to know them while you're bossing them around'.

"Iruka, you keep working at the café; TenTen… look after Orochimaru until Neji gets here (the mentioned man smiled creepily at the woman); Hinata, you'll work for Jiraiya; Kiba, I need you to work at one of the counters; Sarutobi and I will take care of everything elsef,"

"Lunch break will be at eleven until twelve and dinner will be from seven to eight," Tsunade was saying when there was a loud bang from the back of the building.

"I'm so sorry I'm late!" Neji said as he burst through the back storage room. He probably had to come in through the back to avoid the crowd in the front. TenTen, who was Neji's manager, fell to the ground in relief.

"Explain yourself!" Tsunade screamed. I didn't hear his reason because a certain blonde was walking towards me, a wary expression on his face.

I walked over to my station with him, and took a seat in one of the two fold-out chairs.

Naruto picked up a stack of copies of a picture of me holding a cup of coffee and looking off with a distracted, deep-in-thought look. Obviously, I hadn't been aware of the camera being present and would have to corner Sakura about it later.

"How do you know Tsunade?" I asked Naruto. He turned to me and smiled.

"Her and Jiraiya helped raise me. They're like my grandparents. But don't tell Tsunade I said that because it makes her feel old." He giggled.

Eventually, the doors were opened and a steady stream of fans filled the store. I sighed, already set to work at my own line forming. A few minutes, Naruto walked off and returned with two cups of coffee in his hands. He handed me one and I raised a questioning brow as I signed a picture off to a giggling girl.

"A asked Sakura how you prefer it. I added a little more sugar though. How can you stand it so bitter?,"

I just shrugged and forced a small smile as another fan trotted happily away.

"Do you mind taking a picture with me?"

"Not at all," I told the girl, giving the camera to Naruto so he could take the shot, "Naruto?"

"Sure. Say cheese!"

_Click._

She took her camera from Naruto and pushed her glasses up, a small smile on her face.

"I really enjoy your work," she whispered before turning away and disappearing into the crowd.

The morning passed slowly for me, but I used very pause in my line to ask Naruto a question. If I coulfn't think of a question, I would send him on a pointless errand just for the hell of it.

"What's you're favorite color?"

"Orange!" he answered immediately, "No… Yellow. Or maybe purple. All of them!"

And after a few other signings, he had managed another.

"What do you plan on doing with medical school?"

"I want to be a psychiatrist at Konoha Institute,"

Eventually, all of the authors were allowed a short break around nine-thirty and Naruto tool to force-feeding me a bite of chocolate cheesecake.

"Delicious, isn't it?" he asked smugly, taking a bite himself.

I swallowed and grunted, stealing his fork back easily and taking a large hunk out of the treat. Naruto gawked.

"Hey! That was like, half the cake!"

I liked the remains off of the fork with a smirk of accomplishment. He grumbled and snatched it back. Naruto smiled as he took a small bite, savoring it. I vaguely noted that he was the only person I have shared a fork with is years.

"You secretly have a sweet tooth," he declared, holding the fork to my mouth. I bit the cake off trying not to think about the fact he had just fed me, "You drink your coffee so gross, but it's just a cover up!"

I snorted. Where did he come up with this stuff?

"It's a weakness," I answered and nodded, deciding to humor him.

Naruto laughed and scooped up the rest of the cheesecake with the fork.

"Weakness or not, there's no _way_ you're getting my precious last bite!"

I sneered at the subtle challenge and grabbed his wrist before it could reach his pretty mouth.

"Bastard!" Pretty _loud_ mouth.

Leaning towards him to get closer to the fork, I watched him scowl trying to cover the redness of his face- though I couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or anger.

"Go buy your own cheesecake!"

"You shouldn't have shared,"

I drew closer.

"Get away!" Naruto whined.

A group of guys walked by- no doubt going to get a copy of Icha Icha- and I pretended to be too engrossed in Naruto's pouty face as they walked a little closer to us than necessary. (I mean, who wouldn't have been able to see this coming?)

The last guy bumped into Naruto's back- on purpose? I would never know.

"Ack- mmff," he began, loosing his balance and falling the only way he could possibly go- into_ me_. The silver fork was dropped, smacking the floor and spreading cake onto Sarutobi's carpet, but I was more absorbed with the smacking of Naruto's mouth on mine. I shifted, trying to resist the urge to grab onto him, and the movement caused a little whine from the blonde. I felt his lip-ring against my mouth.

I guess he finally realized what was going on, because he jerked away with a gasp. Once Naruto got settled in his chair again, he looked at me from the cornered of his eyes.

"That was an accident," he stated loudly.

"Yes," I agreed, watching him fidget and feeling the edges of my mouth quirking up.

"I mean, it's not like we would aver actually…"

"Hn,"

He looked at me, a confused expression on his face.

"What?"

"I didn't say anything," I answered, smirking.

"Get that haughty look off your face, jerk!"

"It was just a kiss, idiot,"

"I don't care!" Naruto insisted.

"You did seem to like it, though," I taunted, unable to keep my smirk from growing into a grin.

"Shut up!" he snapped, cheeks flaming with even more heartiness than before.

I decided to fall silent, though my smile held- much to the happiness of my fans when our break ended.

I didn't get to really talk to Naruto again until our lunch break. It was a depressing thing when Sai frequently abandoned his post- leaving an angry Gaara- to come molest the blonde. It confused me. I didn't think they were dating, but I wasn't sure. I would have to ask Naruto. Between all of that, the security had to be called three times- twice for me and once for Jiraiya. Some fans just didn't understand that the purpose of the table was to _separate_ us.

"May I get a picture?" a girl asked as we were standing up to go to lunch. I glanced over at Naruto who glanced away, and sighed.

"Sure,"

Naruto held his hand out to wait for the girl to hand him her camera. She smiled.

"No, no, no. Not with me. I want a picture of you two,"

Naruto's hand dropped and he looked at me for help. I smirked.

"Do you mind?" she asked when we stayed silent.

"Not al all. Come here Naruto,"- but when he took too long, I grabbed him by the belt loops of his too-short shorts and yanked him to me. He squeaked and I drew my arm around him shoulders.

_Click_.

"Wait!" Naruto cried, wriggling in my grip, "I don't-"

_Click_.

"You never came off as shy to me, dobe," I sneered. He growled.

_Click_.

"I'm not shy!"

"Prove it!" (I remembered the last time I said this, it had back fired on me terribly and prayed it wouldn't this time.)

Something I took as tenacity flashed in the blonde's eyes and suddenly, he was lunging as me. I felt more than saw his arms go up my chest and rest on my shoulders and the nape of my neck.

_Click_.

"That's all I need," she said, putting her camera down and smiling, "Anything more, and my parents will make me delete them,"

We stayed like that while Tsunade had all the fans leave the building and lock the doors so we could have our lunch break. Naruto's stomach growling broke the moment and those tan arms were withdrawing.

"Let's go eat," he said happily, grabbing my hand and pulling me along. I followed him, holding his hand only a little and reminding myself that it wasn't really my hand to hold.

We grabbed what we wanted and paid at Iruka's register. Honestly, I would have preferred sitting somewhere alone with Naruto, but he lead me where everyone had pushed the tabled together so they could all eat with each other. I sat between Naruto and Kiba and across from Ino. I ignored the weird and uncomfortable twinge in my gut when Naruto let got of my hand.

"And then he tells us we weren't in trouble! So the whole time, we were just sitting in the principal's office for nothin'!" Kiba exclaimed melodramatically. Everyone laughed and Naruto leaned towards me.

"He's telling a story about him and me. We were quite the trouble makers in high school," he whispered. I just snorted.

"I wouldn't doubt it,"

"Hey, Sasuke," Ino said, catching my attention, "Tell us about your books. How many have you published?"

"Mostly a mixture between horror and science fiction: the theories of alternate dimensions or bio-weaponry with a hint of the unexplained," I answered, "And this latest one is my third,"

"Sounds kind of Stephen King," Naruto said.

I felt embarrassed at the amount of pride I felt swell. Naruto had probably never even opened one of my books. Sakura laughed.

"Funny you should say that. Sasuke's always admired King,"

We steered away from me after that and discussed other random things. I let their voices become white noise and spent the rest of lunch focused on a certain someone's arm brushing against mine. (And I'm not talking about Kiba, you smart asses.)

"So, what are you going to do now?" Naruto asked me at the end of the day, as the last of the fans were trailing away and the clock struck ten. He flicked at his lip-ring and I snorted.

"Going home and going to sleep," I answered uninterested.

"You know," he said with a grin, "Trams don't run this late. You wouldn't let little adorable me walk a twenty minute route in the middle of the night all alone, would you?"

"If this is your way of asking-"

"I'm not asking," he interrupted, natural boldness rising as he leaned towards me, "I'm skillfully persuading,"

Naruto's breath- an odd combination of spear-mint and something sweeter- feathered over my face. We hadn't kissed long enough for me to know if he tasted the same. Mentally batting the brief recollection of the firm slid of his mouth on mine, I sighed.

"You will not put your feet on anything but the floor,"

Naruto laughed.

"Nor will you touch the stereo,"

"What are you a mother? I get it,"

"_Nor_ will you make any loud noises,"

Everyone was pulled away from their conversations when Tsunade, ignoring protests from Hinata, climbed up on a check-out counter.

"You all showed a lot of hard work today. I'm going to need the same attitudes for the next two days in order for us all to get through this. If this ends well, Sarutobi has agreed to let it become annual," Tsunade paused then added, "No one is late tomorrow!"

Neji shuffled his feet in ignominy.

As everyone began setting everything up in preparation for the morning, Sai lingered his way over to Naruto.

"Gaara wasn't very fun today, Naaaaru," he whined, arms wrapped tightly around the blonde's waist. Naruto laughed and patted Sai's cheek.

"Give him some time to warm up to you," Naruto stated, not phased in the least when Sai began nuzzling his neck.

"But I want _you_ to be my helper," Sai pouted, and at that point I had to force myself to look away, "Do you need a ride to your place?"

I tensed and couldn't resist looking up. Sai was practically wrapped around the blonde twice, nibbling his ear, but miraculously, Naruto slipped out of his grip and trailed over right next to me. I was amazed that he had escaped and made it look easy.

"Actually," Naruto hooked his arm around mine with a grin, "Sasuke is my escort this evening,"

My breath involuntarily hitched at the sound of my name coming out of the blonde. I think it was the first time I had ever heard him say my name.

Sai frowned, his eyes cutting to me before returning to Naruto.

"See you tomorrow then, Dickless," he said, blowing a kiss to Naruto before leaving.

"Ready to go?" the blonde asked, not waiting for an answer to start pulling me out and across the dark parking lot.

We rode in silence and Naruto did well to heed my car rules. He didn't open his mouth until we reached the fourth floor of the apartment building.

"Thanks for the ride," he said, sounding a little off-key, like he wanted to say something else. I studied his face carefully, taking in the heart tattoo, scars, and landing on the lip ring. He smiled.

"They're fake,"

I raised an eyebrow as he pulled the black hoop out and held it up: a clip-on.

"My mom would have a heart attack if I got anything on my face. I had to get my ears pierced, _then_ tell her about it to get away with it. I don't think she knows about my tattoo" he said with a chuckle.

I eyed the whisker marks and he shrugged.

"Scars,"

My door would be in front of me in five steps and I discretely took smaller strides. We reached it anyways.

"I guess I'll see you at work,"

"Do you need a ride?" I blurted out (Thankfully, I was naturally poised, being an Uchiha, so even my slip-ups sounded relatively articulate.)

"Are you offering?" he asked carefully.

"Didn't I just ask, idiot?"

"Don't answer my question with another question! You're being evasive!" he yelled, putting his hands on his hips and tilting forward.

"You started it,"

"And to think I thought we could have a decent conversation! God, you are such an ass! What part of-"

I shut him up the best way I could think of. His shoulders tensed in my grip when our lips touched for the second time that day. I leaned back before he could react and smirked.

"I'll be knocking on your door at five-forty,"

Leaving him gaping in the hallway, I went to bed with a pleasant buzz of a small triumph in my veins.

**Sequence Three: End**

**I feel like I'm popping these chapters out like Kate Gosselin popped out babies.**

**Anyways, everyone's support is much appreciated. Keeps me motivated :D**

**R&R**


	4. Sequence Four: Emergency Monogamy

**Summery: "You like him," my editor stated. And though I had a feeling I would soon be eating my words, I opened my mouth. "Prove it"- And it all started with a fat lady, though it hardly ended with her singing. SasuNaru AU**

**Warnings: Slight OoC, though I'm trying my best to stick to the characters. =/**

**Mentions of a lemon and bad language**

**Also, I gave Sai and Naruto a very adventurous sense of style**

**Disclaimer: Plot © Me, Naruto(+characters) © Masashi Kishimoto**

**Edit*: Slight SaiNaru because I love Sai too damn much. Also, Naruto is an **_**idiot**_** in this one.**

**Edit*: Less SaiNaru, still hints though. Less idiotic Naruto**

**Edit*: I think this will be the last one…**

**Sequence Four: Emergency Monogamy **

"I have an emergency," I said, looking Ino dead in the eyes, my grip on her shoulders tightening for dramatic effect. My blonde friend took one look at my sleep deprived eyes and bulldozed for the girl's bathroom, hanging the 'Out of Order' sign on the door knob.

"You look like a zombie!" she gasped.

"Ino, we _all_ look like zombies. Hello, it's six o'clock in the morning,"

She blinked.

"Oh, yeah. Then what's the emergency?"

I groaned.

"I… I am officially attracted to the biggest bastard on the planet," I moaned in despair, grabbing the front of Ino's blouse and taking comfort on her bosom (a good sized C-cup type of comfort, too)

"What's the big deal? You've been attracted to tons of bastards,"

"It's too progressed! I'm miserly!" I wailed, shaking my head. Ino pushed me back, smacking her hands on either side of my cheeks and keeping them there.

"By progress, you surly don't mean… _monogamy_?" she hissed, horrified, "As in, telling Sai to back off, progressed?"

I nodded despondently.

"Oh my _god_!" the blonde girl cried, releasing me and putting a hand to her forehead in disbelief, "I can't believe this day has finally come!"

"I _know_!" I whined, "I've barely known him for less than a week and I feel like a school girl with a fat crush,"

"At least you make a very cute school girl," Ino offered with a slightly pained smile.

I laughed and pulled the bathroom door open, mind muddled of thoughts about the nerve wracking day I was about to hopefully live through.

"How is it that I've been waiting months for something to get started with Shikamaru, but you've only known each other _days_?" Ino complained.

"How is that going by that way?"

"It's _not_!"

We rolled around in out own separate miseries for a few extra minutes.

"We still have work to do," I declared, the two of us leaving the bathroom and ignoring the stares from Neji and TenTen who were not used to my habits.

"Girl's Bathroom again, Naruto?" Kiba asked loudly, laughing.

"It's considerably cleaner," I replied with a series of nods, walking towards Sasuke's table.

He gave me an unreadable look and handed me a cup of steaming coffee.

"Iruka told me what you usually get," he mumbled, looking off to the side, an almost-pout on his face. I took the cup and tried not to drop it when our fingers collided.

"Thanks,"

Again, Tsunade climbed up onto the desk and cleared her throat.

"Welcome to day two! I see that everyone is in fact on time today. It's going to be more crowded this afternoon since it is a Friday. Don't go easy on your little helpers, guys,"

I looked at Sasuke, only to quickly look away when his dark eyes caught mine.

"Well? Get moving!" Tsunade barked.

The doors were opened and already, a line had formed at each table. I took the moment of Sasuke being busy take in all of the fans. It was obvious that there was a pattern with each writer. Most of Jiraiya's line consisted of men over their thirties (including Kakashi, who had a whole wagon-full of books he wanted to be singed, literally. The wagon was red with black polka-dots.) The majority of Neji's fans were women- he wrote a variety of 'self-improvement' books that I hadn't really looked at and had only heard through what Ino had learned from being his helper. Sai had a very diverse crowd, though most of them came in packs. There would be a chunk of gossiping girls next to a group of world-hating I'm-so-hardcore teenagers next to an old couple that was in their seventies. There were also a lot of males that looked like they swung on my side of the fashion spectrum. Sai wrote a series of poetry books with a short story written at the end of each book. I had bough his first one and had it sitting on my bed-side table. Sasuke's line was diverse, though not as much as Sai's. Most of his fans were older- the youngest reaching maybe twenty and mostly male. Any exceptions were the giggling grade-schooler girls that wanted his picture.

I liked to engage them in conversation about Sasuke's books while they waited for his signature. A lot of the girls called me cute and even wanted to take my picture. I had read two of the three he had published and owned one copy of each- though I hadn't told him any of that. It would make his head get big.

A lot of the younger girls tried to _launch_ themselves across the effing table in excitement and I had to push them back. All of them made my stomach boil and I wasn't stupid enough to not recognize it as jealousy. I really _was_ crushing on the asshole. But at the moment, the most he ever said to me was 'I need another pen' and 'I need some water'. One week I had known him. _One_ week- and I was already ready to throw caution to the wind and claim him. There had to be something wrong with me.

Lunch finally rolled around- thank god. I needed a break to get my anger out of my system for having to witness the Uchiha smile at a hundred people. Instead of eating it with Sasuke though, I used the free time to grab a hold of Sai and talk to him.

"I need to talk to you," I murmured in his ear after I had gotten my food. He looked up from the crowded tables we had pushed together again and nodded with one of his unique smiles.

He grabbed his lunch and we walked over to his signing table to sit.

"What can I do for you Dickless?" he asked, resting his head on my shoulder. I petted his head fondly and sighed.

"I have a crush on the Uchiha,"

"I know Ino calls us gossip girls, but I really do think she's joking. You're not going to talk about how his eyes sparkle _just so_ and his hair is silky or anything like that, are you?"

I laughed and elbowed him.

"No, smart ass. I just…,"

"Yes?" he prompted, laying on my lap and looking up at me.

"I need for you to touch me less,"

"I don't touch you a lot," he whined with a pout, sitting up and scooting his chair closer.

"Yeah, but I need you to touch me _less_,"

He wrapped his arms around my stomach and bit my necklace that Tsunade had given me a long time ago, holding it between his teeth.

"You've never told me to stop when you dated _other_ people,"

"Sai!" I said exasperatedly with a laugh, "You'll make Sasuke explode with jealous rage,"

"I wouldn't mind that much," he muttered, straightening up again and taking my cheeks in his hands, much like Ino had done that morning.

"I won't" he said leaning in so that our noses brushed, "unless you let me kiss you,"

I smiled.

"Here?"

"Here," he said, rubbing his nose against mine in an Eskimo-kiss.

"That's going to be a pain explaining to Sasuke," I said with a laugh.

"Not _my_ problem," he pouted, "Kiss or no deal. A good one too- we're not teenagers,"

"Tongue?" I asked, feeling a little put off. Sai smirked at me, and I had to look at him cross-eyed to see it.

"Only if you can't resist me,"

I rolled my eyes and closed the distance between us, closing my eyes and mixing my lip-gloss with his white lipstick. He tasted surprisingly like oranges. I could feel him smile as one of his hands traveled to my hairline. We kissed a little longer than I planned, and when we pulled apart we lingered in each other's breathing space before completely retreating.

The jingle of a bell caught our attention, and I looked up just in time to see the back of one Uchiha storming out.

"See what you've done?" I asked with good humor.

"I'm not sorry a bit," Sai practically sang, stealing another peck on my lips before he started eating his lunch.

An hour _after_ lunch, and I had a horribly grouchy Sasuke in my hands. He was doing everything he could to not look at me and when he sent me on errands, he snapped and sneered. It didn't help that Sai would snicker loudly enough for me to hear whenever it happened.

"Do you need any water, Sasuke?" I asked, glancing at his half empty cup.

"No," he answered shortly, "I don't need anything from you,"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. After a few silent minutes of him signing pictures and books and me taking pictures, I decided to take things into my own hands.

"Hey Sasuke,"- he didn't look up, but offered a weak 'hn'- "Don't you need to go on a bathroom break?"

"Do I?" he mouthed off.

"Don't you have to pee _so_ bad?" I asked, standing up and moving behind him and resting

my chin on his hunched shoulder, "Like Niagara Falls in your bladder?"

He didn't seem won over, and if this ended up not working, I didn't really mind dragging his by an ear.

"I mean, think about all that water you've been drinking today. Surly you can squeeze _something_ out,"

If he couldn't, I could certainly do that for him.

"Naruto," he sighed, finally looking up at me, "What are you-"

"Great!" I grabbed his tie and pulled him after me.

"Preferably the men's restroom," he grumbled and I almost considered taking him to the girl's just because he said not to.

We got into the pee-room and I hooked the 'Out of Order' sign up. There were a few men who looked startled at my barging in, but even more so when I pushed them out before they could even button up their jeans. There was a guy who insisted on washing his hands that I was forced to toss a bottle of hand soap out after him.

"Now that that's taken care of," I started, turning slowly on my heel to face the Uchiha who was leaned against a papered wall, "I can start on you,"

I was kissing him before I lost my nerve. I even got so far as him responding before he was pushing me back and looking pissed.

"Is this how you work, Namikaze?" he hissed, grabbing me by my pastel blue button-up and pushing me to the wall he had just been leaning against, "You go around kissing whoever gets you going?"

"No!" I responded angrily, "That's why I brought you in here: to _explain_,"

"I don't want your explanations,"

"Oh, shut up. I kissed Sai _for_ you,"

He looked up at me, curiosity buzzing around all that rage in his eyes.

"I told Sai to stop hanging all over me, and he said he would only agree if I kissed him,"

There was a pregnant silence in which I hoped he was being convinced.

"So you weren't together,"

"We never were. He's always been that way with me,"

"And you've never told him to stop?"

"Well, I have now," I said with an annoyed tone, "Can we _please_ go back to ravishing each other now?"

He looked me over carefully before smirking and decending his mouth on mine. His coffee taste wiped out any memory of oranges in no time. His tongue was a bit too demanding-jabbing and moving so quickly I couldn't successfully pin it down- but I wasn't complaining (mine was trying to tie knots, so I wasn't one to talk).

I cried out when a cold hand touched my lower back underneath my shirt. Deciding to get back at him, I ran my hands up his chest, then down, raking my nails on the way. He hissed against my smile. It didn't take long for us to decide clothes were a hindrance and I found myself shirtless and pants-less faster than I though possible (not that Sasuke was far behind).

I hastily hoisted myself up and wrapped my legs around his waist, and I moaned loudly when our arousals rubbed firmly against each other. Any other thoughts after that were blocked when another cold hand slipped beneath the elastic waistband of my boxers.

I man that I had only known for less than a week and knew nothing about was touching me. And not stopping. And putting me on my back, the cold tile making me gasp. It didn't take a genius to know where this was going. (Or where _that_ was going, I thought as I felt his hard flesh grind on mine again.)

"Wait, Sasuke," he stopped biting my neck and faced me, "You have fans waiting,"

He went back to leaving a very dark hickey and yanking off my underwear. I thought he was just going to ignore the question when his fingers brushed somewhere I hadn't been touched in a while.

"They can wait,"

For once, we didn't have to argue.

"I can't even _begin_ to tall you how pissed I am!" Tsunade bellowed, "You were on a _job_!"

"Sorry," I mumbled, body still buzzing from the attention it had just gone under.

"Sorry? _Sorry_?" she continued, "There were children! Do you even realize what we all heard coming from that bathroom?"

I had forgotten that I wasn't only loud _out_ of the bed… well, bathroom in this case.

"Can you at least _try_ acting a little rueful, Uchiha? You're lucky none of the children's parents sued!"

I peeked over at my partner in… ah, crime. His black dress pants were still unbuttoned, having not had the time to fasten them. His bare chest was littered with red lines and marks from my nails and his hair was disheveled- sticking up in all directions. I felt a little upset that our rushed moment had left me with no time to leave a proper hickey.

"You know I'm not sorry at all, Tsunade," Sasuke purred, leaning back in the chair and folding his arms behind his head.

"God!" she exclaimed.

"Yes?" Sasuke asked smugly.

The woman looked positively livid. The dark haired man glanced over at me, rolling in pride and self-satisfaction. I snorted and looked down at myself. I was no better than him.

My hair was probably spikier than usual, and I knew my neck looked like one big bruise with the amount of interest Sasuke had shown it (I figured he had some sort of neck fetish and stored the information for better use later). I was actually wearing Sasuke's shirt from grabbing the wrong one in my haste and Sasuke insisting I wear it when I tried to give it back. _My_ shirt was still on the bathroom floor and my yellow skinny jeans were- like Sasuke's- unfastened.

Tsunade fumed silently, fists clenched on top of Sarutobi's desk (She had taken us back there after we had been interrupted by Sakura's "Are you finished?").

It had to have been the shortest and best sexing of my entire life. (Not that I had had sex a lot in the past. There was that short time I dated my first love Deidara in high school and that time when Sai got me drunk…) I hadn't had much of an afterglow in the bathroom. It had barely even been an after-flicker before that banging on the door started. Damn Sakura.

"You're both fired for the rest of the day! And then suspended for the next week after tomorrow. As much as I hate to admit it, we need you for the rest of book signing. And get here early, so you can clean that bathroom,"

I didn't even question the fact that she wasn't even technically my boss. When we didn't move, the busty woman growled.

"Go!"

I quickly grabbed the smirking Uchiha's arm and pulled out of Sarutobi's office and into the main part of the store. I froze when I saw everyone crowded around the office door.

There was an irruption of applause, and it took me a moment to realize that it was aimed at _us_. Ino and Sakura were laughing and clapping the loudest. Jiraiya was passed out on the floor, an ice pack for both his head and crotch with tissue wads in his nose. I ducked my head down, refusing to make eye contact with anyone.

"I guess he forgave you," Sai teased. I felt like my face was about to explode. Sure, usually I bathed in attention- but this was just too much.

I began to weave my way through the taunting group- the only exception it seemed was Iruka, who looked just as embarrassed as I was.

"Get'chu some!" Kiba crowed as I thrust the Uchiha through the door and out onto the concrete.

I would never live this down.

"And here I thought you didn't bottom for guys that are bitchier than you," Sasuke proclaimd, unlocking his car. We both climbed in and I slammed my door harder than necessary and shot him a glare.

"You are such a dick,"

"You didn't seem to mind ten minutes ago,"

I thought about that comment for a second before grinning up at him.

"If you can get us to your room faster than that, I might not mind again,"

Needless to say, we got to the apartment quicker than ten minutes.

The second time having sex with Sasuke was a lot more thorough. He did embarrassing things, like watching my face, paying attention to the smaller details. We got to enjoy and indulge in each other, and I put out of my mind that he was an almost-stranger.

His fingers trailed down my chest before following the spiral of my black tattoo, thrusting into me slowly and shallowly. My back was arched off of his bed, each plunge making me gasp then loose my breath- making it impossible to even moan.

Sasuke's lips feathered against my collar bone, and I clutched blindly at his dark, dark hair. I caught his deep voice as he chuckled lightly, but I didn't have time to get mad because he had brushed my prostrate at the same time. It seemed my back would never touch the mattress- though I did finally get to groan and it was loud.

"_Sasuke,_" I breathed when he hit that spot again, thrusting with more purpose than before.

I came before him, like the first time, and he followed me close after.

He pulled out gently and lay beside me on his rather large bed, and I briefly wondered if he did this often. It was something to ask at a later time, though.

We were both breathing heavily despite how tender the experience had been. That didn't keep me still long though, before I was climbing on top of Sasuke and asking- demanding- for a third round.

Instead of waking up in my usual manner- a beeping alarm clock that sounded distinctly like an ambulance for some reason- I woke up to the sound of snoring (then realized it had been my own and the room had been so quiet, I had woken myself up). I rolled over, coming face-to-chin with a certain bastard. Huh.

It was too bad Tsunade had told us to be early because Sasuke's sleeping face was hilarious (slobber was a good look for him), but I loved my job too much to let him be the reason I get fired. I tried to sit and screamed a very bad profane word. Shit, I needed an aspirin. This meant absolutely no mercy when waking that pale ass up.

"Hey!" I yelled, falling onto my back again, rolling over, and smacking the side of his face.

"Heeeey!"

God, I couldn't wait to do this every morning.

"Wakey-wakey,"

He grunted and I maturely answered by yanking his pillow out from under him and hitting his side with it.

"Shouldn't you be in pain?" he groaned, rolling over onto his stomach. I tried not to get too wrapped up in his rich bed-room voice.

"I am. That's why you have to get up and get me some pain-killer,"

I squirmed over and on top of him, all the way until I was on his other side. Putting my back to the wall and my feet to his back, I shoved until he fell off the edge.

There was a heavy thud, then silence. I wriggled back over to my side (We had _sides_?) and peeked over the edge.

"I'm going to kill you," he croaked, sitting up on the floor and running a hand through his hair.

"After you give me the pills. Hop to,"

Once the edge had been taken off of my tenderness, we went to the showers (unfortunately not sharing a stall in order to save time- that would have to wait for next time). Once I had been washed of sweat and other unholy bodily fluids, I went to my own room in order to get clothes.

I settled with black pinstriped shorts and an orange v-neck t-shirt. I pulled my wet hair back with a glittery bobby-pin. It was while I was applying bright green eyeliner when my phone rang. I grabbed it, seeing it was Mom (What it Tsunade told her about yesterday?- I asked myself with a panic) and flipped it open.

"Morning, Mom,"

"_Good morning. Sleep well? I tried calling yesterday evening but I kept getting voicemail_," she sounded worried. Facing my mirror, I craned my neck in order to get a

better look at my reflection and wince at the amount of markings I found there.

"Sorry, I was with a friend," I hastily answered- it was half the truth, I _was_ with someone- while abandoning my mirror and pulling on some socks and my Chucks.

"_You're coming for dinner tonight, right_?"

There was an impatient knocking on the door.

"You done priming?"

"_Naruto, who was that?_"

I opened my door and accepted my work-vest from Sasuke.

"Sorry mom, gotta go. I love you,"

I didn't wait for an answer and pocketed my phone and keys. I stepped on Sasuke's shiny polished black shoes, making a few nice murky scuffs in revenge for his 'priming' comment as we walked down the stairs.

Haku was behind the counter, though not alone. There was a tall, scruffy-looking man, leaning on his elbow on the table-top. I could only guess that was the mystery Zabuza.

They were speaking in hushed whispers, and I winked when Haku caught my eye as Sasuke and I were leaving. His face flaming up was the last I saw when the door shut behind me.

"We might be a little late," I mused, buckling my seatbelt.

"Tsunade'll live,"

Sure, but _we_ might not.

The engine hummed to life, and Sasuke smoothly pulled out and onto the street.

An awkward silence filled the car in which my mind took the time to wander into dangerous territory. I had sex with Sasuke in a bathroom, in his room, spent the night, and he still offered me a ride. I took it as a good sign. So what were we? Boyfriends? (Good) Fuck buddies? (Bad) Victims of a one-night stand? (Worse). We _liked_ each other I was sure, even though we argued over everything and bickered like no tomorrow. But that still didn't tell me what we were now. And I'm positive we didn't _love_ each other. Well, at least not yet, if I had any say in that. Sasuke didn't want to pretend that it never happened, did he?

"So… are we dating?"

He stared at me until I told him to watch the road.

"Only you would ask such a stupid question,"

I gawked at him.

"It's a damn good question, you ass!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and turned into the Barnes & Noble lot.

"Would you listen? Only you would ask such a stupid question," he said, looking

pointedly at me.

Oh.

I smiled.

"Want to come to dinner at my parent's tonight?"

"Yeah," he cut the ignition.

"We're _really_ late,"

"Yeah,"

We got out and walked towards the store where a fuming Tsunade was no-doubt waiting for us. But when a cool hand caught and wrapped its fingers around mine, none of that seemed to matter so much.

**Sequence Four: End**

**That's the end folks. Hope you enjoyed.**

**Also, about the Deidara thing: there was literally no one else left that I hadn't already mentioned in the story besides the Akatsuki members, Rock Lee, and a few **

**older people.**

**The End~**

**Owari~**


End file.
